Short Update

Not a lot to say...not a lot has happened during the last week. I am still home recovering from surgery. I am actually doing a lot better at the moment, I had some GI troubles after surgery. The surgeon told me they must have irritated a nerve in my esophagus that controls the stomach and intestines and so I ended up getting dehydrated.

I can't eat very much at a time and I am on a limited diet for a few weeks to a few months, so I guess I just wasn't getting enough fluid and the stomach issues didn't help. I started to treat myself as if I was dehydrated and it made a huge difference in my feeling.

Because of this the dr is keeping me out of work for an extra week, so I don't go back till a week from today. I am kind of glad how it turned out because I really needed this time away from the business of work. I've been making cards, laying around relaxing, watching movies, etc etc. Just having a lot of down time.

Meanwhile sam waits for his surgery date and also is trying to see about getting a sleep study done that will look for any and all possible causes of this damn insomnia he has. It is like beating a dead horse, every post we mention it or so it seems, but he can't help it. He would give anything to be able to sleep, and him walking around like a zombie all the time exhausted and all doesn't leave a lot of time for fun.

Yet I still have faith that we and the doctors are going to figure this out so he can get back to more normal living here soon. I do feel bad for him being so beyond tired all the time. It creates a lot of tension between us both and puts a toll on our relationship. I have stood by and waited pretty patiently for him this past year, never losing faith that he is going to get his life back on track. But it is hard, sometimes it takes quite the emotional toll on me. I am far from perfect, but I do love him and I was in a full time relationship with him for 2 years before he was diagnosed with this auto immune disease. It is a bit rare and it also is a disease that is based on a lot of trial and error and only 6 months into it he is still learning the ropes for how the rest of his life will be.

Sometimes I am afraid that life as we knew it won't ever come back...maybe it can never be as good as it once was, because his health and his daily needs are different now, but I do believe that there is going to be at least some better middle ground between what we had before, and what there is right now, both for his daily life and our relationship. The truth is he is going to have bad days here and there, but they should be less often than right now.