I am Feeling MUCH Better

Now that I got my first week back to work out of the way, and life is more normal for me, I am feeling great!!!

So far there aren't any signs that my surgery was anything but a success :). I am totally loving my new hair style and Sam keeps telling me how fucking good I look and how pretty I am.

I normally was the type to wear soft make up, enough to accent but not out there...but last summer when Sam didn't get here and he was so sick for so long and then my reflux got worse and worse I just totally stopped wearing it at work or pretty much any time. The only time I ever wore it the last year was when I had to hide the fact that I had been crying. :( Then I decided to grow my hair to be able to have this new hair style, because it was ultra short before, and so for about 6 months I just looked totally BLAHHHHHH...and you know I pretty much felt like it too.

That is so not me. I was the type that wore eye shadow to match my shirts, and jewelry to match my outfits and take pride in my appearance, not because I am vain, but because when I get up and make myself into the best me I can be, my entire attitude for the day is changed and I feel so much better, I take better care of myself and I am happy and bubbly which is the real me.

I love to laugh and giggle and smile, and that is what people fall in love with about me.

It is so nice this week, I was feeling well enough after surgery, more like the old me that I made my hair look pretty every day and wore my make up for work, and I got so many compliments because people probably were thinking I looked like me again, not the unhealthy acid reflux version of me. LOL.

Last night I went out with a girl friend from high school and we have been friends since elementary school. We graduated high school 16 years ago, but we still get together. Well I was wearing clothes that last summer were just too tight, because I had gained some weight when my reflux pretty much wiped me totally out, and it felt great to wear those clothes again and I even added my jewelry too!

I still hope to continue losing weight, I have been losing since the surgery...partly because of the minimal food I am able to eat for a few months, but I hope that after I am able to resume a normal diet I can be more sensible. I have learned it is in fact possible to go a month with no pizza, chocolate, bread etc...and know I seriously cannot have any of those items makes it easier to stay away from them, because they could compromise what I have had done, so I hope that after I am fully recovered in a few months that I can have some of this will power carry me through and that I can make better choices and really be the healthiest me possible.

All I know is this past week I felt like me again, and I was more relaxed and seeing small improvements in Sam this week too just made me very happy. He has actually been getting some half way decent sleep the past few nights, so I think the B12 is just barely starting to kick in. All I know is it is showing some signs of working and that makes me feel more hopeful all the way around.

So I am sorry for my post before I returned to work...I was down in the dumps that day. I guess even someone who tries hard to be positive and bubbly as much as possible has weaker moments too.