Please Let Him Sleep...

I can't seriously believe how bad this sleep issues are for Sam. Totally insanely ridiculous. He took a super strong sleeping pill and after about 4 hours it managed to get him to sleep for 2 hours. Oh my goodness this sucks. Hopefully now, half way through my day, he is falling asleep.

This insomnia while I have been off work has been the most depressing ever. It is never fun, especially when he finally can get a few half way decent nights of sleep and it just starts all over. That seems to be what the last 8 months have been like.

Unfortunately other dr's he sees don't want to make any decisions and just want him to see his own dr, but it seems he's either too exhausted to get there during those hours or he is trying to sleep. This is no kind of life. And Sam is at his wits end with feeling this way.

We were supposed to be making up for lost time with me out of work, spending hours and hours together everyday, talking, playing, laughing, yet my entire time off work has been spent with very little skype and him trying but not succeeded to sleep every day. I am very sad about this. I try not to show it every second of the day because I know he can't help it and he would sleep if only he could, but I can't help it. I am so disappointed and sad about this.

I only have 5 more days off work now, and if she doesn't get some sleep today there is probably no chance we are going to have enjoyed pretty much any of my 3 and half weeks off work, and I am very sad about that. I just can't help it. I am sad.

I will go back to work happy if the next few days work out and we actually get to have some fun though.

I sound like I feel sorry for myself...and I do. I feel sorry for him too of course, but this Mistress and woman feels very sorry for herself over this...it has just ruined too many of our days to not be sad over it.

The thing that pisses me off is that it's not his auto immune disease that is wrecking things and making his life miserable, and making us have very little time together, it is insomnia. Health wise except for the sleeping he is SOOOOO much healthier than he was. The sinus infection is gone, he hasn't been sick sick in so long. But this damn sleeping.

I hope his dr sets up that sleep study asap which checks the brain activity and all that when sleeping or trying to sleep. I hope they can find the glitch and fix it.

I feel terrible that this is what our blog posts have become, but it's either be honest or don't bother posting, and I don't want this blog to just die. Before he got sick this was a thriving blog with lots of fun and kinky things going on, and I do have big plans for as soon as our life gets even close to normal again.

Till then I guess I just have to hope that today he finally sleeps and that the few good days a month he tends to get are going to be these next 5 days I have off work...